Stake Dance Wars

I attended a very diverse LDS stake where I was called to work with the youth. Our stake was diverse in age, racially, culturally, economically, socially, you name it. Many blessings come from being surrounded by people who are different from you, yet all having common ground as brothas and sistas in the Gospel.

Minus the out-of-whack hormones, I enjoy working with the youth. However, there is one youth activity that can get a little crazy when working with a diverse group...a stake dance. Somehow I always find myself on music duty, which means sitting next to the DJ, keeping the girls from flirting with him and maintaining the requests list. If you think that sounds easy, you don't know how wrong you are.

First issue, age, there could be a ninety year old sister serving punch and cookies and the youngest teens at an LDS dance are usually fourteen. What happens is: dear sweet Sister 1920's shuffles over to let me know that she finds the music too loud. Then Brother So-and-so wants me to translate every rap song because he can't understand what they're saying. Another sister comes by and asks that we try not to play so much rock music, it makes the boys jump in to each other and it's dangerous.

Then there are the kids. The black kids inform me they came to the dance to get crunk (have a good time), but they can’t because the music is whack (bad). The DJ plays a hip-hop track. The Hispanic kids stop by to let me know that they want to really dance, and you can't really dance to what the DJ is playing, please, please, play some Bachata (a form of music and dance that originated in the Dominican Republic). The DJ obliges.

Some of the Asian kids want to get a break dance battle going, so could the DJ hit’em with a tight (cool, hip, amazing) beat. The Polynesian kids would like to chill (hang out, relax) to something mellow. The DJ plays a little something-something with ukulele in it. A group of white kids come over, like (a word spoken in between each word in a sentence, usually used by teenage girls) do you like have any like High School Musical.

By now the DJ officially thinks Mormons are crazy (there goes any chance of converting this dude) and he can't wait to get out of here. Play some Beach Boys and the leaders are on the dance floor, but the kids are a united front and clearly on strike. The girls say there are not enough slow dances the boys say there are way too many.

It’s the end of the night, there are no satisfied customers. I tell the DJ to put a Michael Jackson song on. The dance floor fills up. Leaders know his music; the kids are poppin’ n lockin’ (urban dance style associated with breakdancing). Finally everyone is happy. Brother so-and-so is boogieing this way (what now, he can’t possibly need me to translate Michael Jackson). In between his spazmatic dance moves, he tells me that he likes Jackson 5, but The Osmonds are better.

Now I’ve had it, the DJ announces last song and asks me what he should play. Everyone seems to be pretty happy with Michael Jackson, so I figure we stick with Michael and end the night on an up swing. “How about "Beat It",” I say. Here’s to hoping they all get the hint. ;-)

God is Good,
Sista Laurel